getting lost

the number one reason i'm late for anything comes down to this: i have too many cd's and it causes for long deliberated choices on what goes with me. i can't leave the house without three cd's regardless of where i'm going. i have tried to plan out what will go with me to work, but somewhere in the eight hours between selections, i have totally changed my mind. granted, there are some cd's that get on streaks with me--beit because they are new (mars volta frances the mute, kings of leon aha shake heartbreak) or classic (the beatles rubber soul, the replacements entire catalog) or just mood/phase (my seasonal jazz phase): lots of noise and nonsense.

today i rediscovered the no alternative compliation. c'mon soul asylum doing "sexual healing!" YES!!! plus matthew sweet, the breeders, buffalo tom, urge overkill, pavement, soundgarden! how about uncle tupelo tearing through ccr's "effigy." a goddamn gem of a disc.

it's amazing how well the songs of our youth hold up--there is something so intuitive to these songs, these bands: they become latched to your genetic make-up. the music, i mean the music that really defined your teen years and became your soundtrack, never truly loses its hold on you. granted, there are bands from high school that i don't listen to and think "yes, i am still down with Morbid Angel." such artists were only peripheral to your sense of self--a sidebar or a phase--something to measure that first big "hair on the back of your neck" rush meaningful music gave you. for me, it was roy orbison--hearing "just running scared" at the age of twelve ignited a life-long persuit to chase that sensation not only in what i was spinning on a stereo but in creating my own poetry.

the sensation of "your music" gets intensified by discovering bands in your now. i came of age with grunge and britpop, and like a good gen x-er i bought my nirvana and oasis cd's but i also grew up with bands like bad religion, beck, mudhoney, rancid, green day, supergrass, stone roses, fugazi, weezer, uncle tupelo (later wilco and son volt), social distortion, smashing pumpkins, gorilla biscuits (later quicksand and rival schools), tori amos, blur, nine inch nails, the pixies, the jayhawks, jeff buckley, rem, radiohead--music either starting, striving, or peaking during formative years. i remember thinking at the time how left out i felt--missing the replacements, black flag, bad brains, the clash, hell punk in general. now i think about my high school/college music life and only now i am getting a sense of what i had growing up around me. . . damn, i was lucky.

do yourself a favor, dig out (or buy) an old cd from the salad days. treat it like an old flame and you'll be surprised the love it reveals. . .

today's soundtrack: no alternative compilation, smashing pumpkins gish; urge overkill stull ep; liz phair exile in guyville; aimee mann whatever; fugazi repeater; radiohead the bends; paul westerberg 14 songs; my bloody valentine loveless; d generation no lunch; weezer pinkerton