I like the Counting Crows, but sometimes. . .

Has modern technology sailed without me? I remember selling portable electronics at Circuit City in college and being up to date on technology. Granted, I hated most of it--still am not a big fan of cell phones--but at least I knew about them. Tonight, I couldn't figure out how to connect a DVD player to a receiver unit. It was for Hitchcock Night--a monthly viewing of a chestnut from "the master of suspense" and the wheels fell off the wagon early, and repeatedly. I spent a good 20 minutes screwing up the multi-cultural room's home theatre set-up. I expect a bill for damages to appear in my mailbox shortly. . . Meanwhile Mischelle is doing her best to stall and give an extended introduction to the evening's performance of Notorious. Worse, the audience is almost totally faculty--teachers past and present. In the end, we moved the show across the hall to the ballroom and used their big screen.

Thank God I'm used to being a f#&k up or else it may have been embarrassing!

Mischelle was very cool about the whole thing. I am glad I have gotten to know her. I have been very gun shy about making new friends (due in no small part to last year. . .Anyway). Jay and I have talked about this in the past--we have become pretty guarded when it comes to new people orbiting our social circles. I used to be so much more open but people mistook open for "welcome" as in welcome mat. This doesn't mean I distrust people more or have become some Swift-ian misanthrope, it's just a fact that not everyone gets access to all the rooms in the house.

Alright, here's where I sound like a pompous windbag, don't say I didn't warn you. . .

Over the last year (in particular) the writing scene in the area has begun to grow and thrive. I have been fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time--and my profile (along with several other talents like Andrea Talarico and Jennifer Diskin)has been on the rise. The more readings you do, the more people start talking, and the more people show up. Being a host and having a big mouth, some people have sought me out to pick my brain or just talk in general. I am very flattered and humbled by people who think I have anything worthwhile to say about writing--I'm just another guy thrashing it out, too. Anyway, whenever you put yourself out there for public consumption and you drop your guards on stage, talking to people afterward becomes a different situation all together. I have people who don't know me tell me they feel like they know me. In one way, I am blown away that people are connecting and listening to what I'm yapping about at poetry reading, but then again I don't know these people and they don't know me. And they shouldn't know me, at least not everything about me. . .

See, I told you I was going to sound like Adam Duritz for a moment or two.

Bottom line, being this open in public means I'm that much more isolated in private, which is cool. This doesn't mean I don't want to talk or hang out with people--it's the opposite, I love the interraction and being out and a part of life, it's just that I can't let everyone inside. I have done my best to close my open book, but sometimes I do miss out on meeting great people and developing great friendships. Thankfully I was smart enough to be friends with Mischelle--she is just a great soul.

the moral of the story: Get off my land!

today's soundtrack: Paul Westerberg 14 Songs; Rufus Wainwright s/t; Sugar Copper Blue; Secret Machines Now Here is Nowhere; Jesse Malin The Heat; Modern Jazz Quartet Django; Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible